MAKING PURE OFFERINGS

When we make an offering to others, in words, action, creative endeavor, or otherwise, how often is the intention of that offering simply ‘to give’?

How much of our valuable time and energy is spent attempting to shape the outcome for others, when it could be invested in the next, more potent offering?

In my early days as a yoga teacher, my post-class happiness was closely related to my perception of people’s experience during the class.

I’ve asked them to relax their faces, but are those grumpy faces? Maybe that’s just how they look. Or maybe… Do they hate this song? Is the session too hard? Too slow? Too many instructions? Too few? The sound of my voice? My unpainted toenails?

You’re all meant to be relaxed and flexible, dammit! Stop being grumpy!

Woe was me when the next week there were fewer students in the class. It couldn’t be the fact that it was raining and the evening before a long weekend. It was definitely my class. Me. I didn’t leave them floating on a blissful, well-stretched cloud, as was my duty as a yoga teacher.

I know, right. Get over yourself, Marsden.

The thing is, when we give, we are rarely doing so from a space of pure giving. There is usually an ulterior motive. We want others to like us, consider us intelligent, funny, or physically attractive. Furthermore, the intention of the offering may not be only about us, although it almost always is on some level. In addition to shaping another’s perception of us, we feel compelled – obliged even – to affect some change in another that we deem positive or worthwhile.

Here, this will help you. This will fix your problem. You’re welcome. Thank me now, or later. I don’t mind.

The reality is, perhaps the offering will help. But maybe it won’t. That’s not up to us.

Attempting to ensure an outcome within another is an impossible task. How might one shape the thoughts – and therefore the emotions – of another, when those thoughts are determined by the endlessly complex matrix of traumas and joys, interactions with others, cultural experiences, personality nuances, and the thousands of events of everyday life?

How arrogant must we be to assume that we might be powerful enough to generate a specific outcome of our own creation with a few words, a class, a song, or some other singular offering?

Here’s what I’ve discovered.

Make an offering. Make it the best possible offering that you can manage, with all your specific skills, creative abilities, and all the sparkly dimensions of your personality. Make it real and sincere. A pure offering from the heart and mind of time, work, art, song, or however you give. But let it end there. That’s it.

Discover the value and gentle satisfaction of making an offering that is free of agenda. One where the outcome is out of your hands. Not your responsibility. Not your burden to bear.

Your offering will land with more potency and much more sincerity. You will be living your true purpose as a human being. For what greater purpose than to give at the highest level we can manage, according to our current circumstances?

And letting go of all that expectation on yourself? Gosh, what a relief.

Leigh Marsden

April 2023